Mr. Lunatik shakes U all night long

Dear Ða&Da 4000,

Oyakudon is chicken and omelet on a bowl of rice. Mother and child united on the grain containing gods. In Japanese slang it means simultaneous sex with mother and daughter. This service is offered in the back of a van in Chiba, a province close to Tokyo. Watch for the shaking springs, you'll know they are in action.

She danced with a smile tattooed on her face. Three years old, and whirling in ecstasy to the piano maestro who tickled and thumped the keys. Too bad she didn't know she was dancing at a memorial service to her dad, who fell over in Ebisu a few days ago, bumped his head, and died.

A blood splattered 17-year-old boy took his sawn-off mother's head to a police station in Fukushima prefecture. Seems there was too much stability and peace in Japan for him. It was his mother's birthday.

"You have no delicacy," the porno star scolded the man paying for her drinks. It is true he pours his milk in her and calls her his espresso. But then, what does she know? She thinks I am a gentleman.

The multimillionaire sipped an eight-year-old French red wine in an almost empty restaurant on the 30 ^th floor of a five star hotel. "Accountants rule the world," he said. "One day they'll close this. Too bad I'm not poor, stupid and happy, then I wouldn't worry about such things." "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?" I asked

Overheard at an international blind boxing championship in Bangkok: "Are the referees blind too?"

"Otaku" are computer nerds, more comfortable touching a mouse than a mouth. Sex kicks come to them via net porn or from frequenting "maid cafes." Recently, photo albums of prepubescent Lolitas in wet string bikinis turn their crank. "Melty Pudding" is a best seller. The model is nine years old.

"It is a good thing I didn't know you when you were young," she said, clasping me naked. "You would have killed me. You shook me so much I thought I was going to get a headache." Ah, the pain of pleasure.

Mr. Lunatik