Mr Lunatik sings S.O.S.

Dear Ða&Da 4000,

Recently Japan`s first `official` porno star was in the news. Aizome Kyoko (aged 49) whipped her niece with a wire coathanger for stealing her boyfriend.   The star of such epics as "Raping" and "Daydream 2 (Captured For Sex)" was fined about $4,000. Her niece is 14 years old.

One of Japan's top soccer players was arrested recently for having sex with a 15 year old.   He bounced his balls on her in his car, and paid her off.  He was red-carded after leaving his wallet in her bicycle basket. She, being honest, took it to the police.

He was perfumed and pompous, rich and rude.  His hobby, he told me, is "night wrestling." Grappling on the sheets with members of the opposite sex. He can afford it; his father invented the floppy disc.

Five kilometers into the Saitama forest, an hour spent with only trees. Suddenly I come across a man masturbating at a picnic table. Is green an aphrodisiac?

Steroid boys, mirror bitches and hard gays. My fellow members of a gym in Tokyo's "hip town" Shibuya.

"Life is Your Self," portable Zen on a t-shirt spotted on the summit of Mount Tsukuba.

Akiharbara, Japan`s Electric Town has rapidly become Porn Town for freaks and geeks.   My favorite company names; Lip Service, Burst Brain, Soft-On-Demand and Baby Entertainment.

I didn't expect to see a pristine Type 35 Bugatti racing car in Akihabara.   Tokyo: a town built like a maze to confuse potential assassins, continues to amaze.

What is scarier than riding in traffic at 60 kmph on a bicycle with a liter of low grade rocket fuel ( shouchu) in your system?  Doing it sober. 

For the tenth successive year more than 30,000 people have committed suicide in Japan.   One of them was Japan's agriculture minister.  He hanged himself after a corruption investigation reached the end of its tether.  The Prime Minister wants a `Beautiful Japan. ` Perhaps we need more swinging.    

Cheers, Mr Lunatik