Mr lunatik s latest farts

Dear Dadarno,

This morning I ate Box Sand.  That is what was written of the packet of sandwiches I bought. 

Two days ago I was awakened at 5 a.m. by a raccoon that had crept up to the farmhouse I was staying in, 30 kilometers from the nearest town.  He'd come to steal some dried fruit hanging by the window.  It is so strange to shoot from 2015 back to 1768 and then back to the future over the weekend. 

"How would you offer a hitchhiker a lift?" I asked one of my female students. "Please ride me," she responded. 

If I don't meet someone so dumb I feel like shitting my brains into a blender everyday, I feel like I missed something.  Like maybe, I'm the one who is making others feel like that. 

"Is a Platonic relationship like anal sex?" I was asked the other day.  Oh, okay, I'm lying, the vast majority of people around me would guess that Plato is a fashion designer.

"I think I'll go and kill myself," a young man said to me as he was buying a book.  "Ah, so you won't be needing your change," I responded. 

When clouds die, they freeze and fall to earth.  Some people call it snow.  Japanese have a word for the sound of falling snow. 

Tokyo University is the premier University in the country. It is Cambridge and Oxford combined, it is Harvard and Yale.  It is known as the "Red Gate" university.  Recently a student of this esteemed school lost her virginity on video tape. Naturally the x-rated tape title contains "Red Gate." 

All out of a town are out of order - A sign I spotted recently.  

Even if the sun sets, and an area blacks out, nobody stops dance.  Ditto.  

Don't stop your dance, dude.  Mr Lunatik  

P.S. Which is not an abbreviation for "Please shit."  Someone e-mailed me asking for help.  Here is my response:  Please come to Tokyo, maybe you can help me.