Mr Lunatik universal love story
Most people agree here though that universal love means Christmas Eve is the time for making out. Take your babe to a restaurant and then bed her. There's more meat flipping done in the love hotels than McDonalds on that night.
My Christmas celebration was, as usual, abnormal. I drank way too much. That part was normal, the rest wasn't. Drinking with Sonny, a giant from Nigeria, from 'da Jungle' who, if he wanted to access your brain, could rip your face off.
With Alan, a punk rocker from London, still tormented by the time he spent in jail. It seems an inmate came to express his love in the cell, and Alan stabbed him in the eye with a toothbrush. The dislodged eyeball flopping around on this man's cheek, and his full volume scream often replay in Adam's dreams: "I would have been better off giving him a blow job." While listening to his story, I found myself holding hands with a woman who called herself a witch, despite the fact that she was with her lover. When I pointed out to her our connection, she moved her hand to my leg. "I can tell your physical condition from the heat of your leg," she said. It seems I'm fine. She bewitched not only me, but also her boyfriend, sitting beside her, who didn't notice this entire charade.
I ran into a Nepali Gurkha, who works in the 'security' business. I patted him down, looking for the kris, the knife those guys wear. It seems he doesn't need one.
A Japanese drinking buddy celebrated by bedding a porno babe. Seems he couldn't perform, so he spent the night downloading her movies and watching them while she slept, unmolested.
The world's oldest porno star, an 88 year old Japanese man, claims that 'heart' keeps him hard. On the other end of the scale, two underage girls snuck into the business by borrowing their older sister's identity cards. They made $6,000 in play money before their game was up. Universal rub.
On New Year's Eve bells will ring 108 times, reminding us of all the sins we haven't committed.
Cheers, Mr Lunatik.