Mr Lunatik "Jumps"

Hi Dr. Ð,

Sushi town is jumping, like freshly landed fish.....

Young women jumping on men. Sounds good, except the women are jumping from the tops of tall buildings.  Two jumpers died in the last week in Tokyo, killing or crippling their male cushions. The jumpers left their shoes behind, evidence that they meant it: footwear is unnecessary in heaven. 

 The Osaka pimp jumps from one airhead to the next, filled with self-loathing and wondering why I don't criticize him. I told him; karma has a way of catching up.

 Panty selling babes like disabled toilets because there is space for two.  They can disrobe in front of the buyer, even providing extra services if he so desires. 

 I met my mate the porno cameraman the other day.  He'd come from a shoot, so the panties he was carefully folding were still warm. He sells them to guys who like to smell their favorites while watching them.

 "Wear loose pants." His fashion tip for visitors to his work site.

 My sources from the dark side say they are thankful for their Middle Eastern "brothers".  Suicide bombings make the law jump to attention,and ignore more mundane stuff.

 Japan will introduce fingerprinting and retinal scanning for all foreigners at airports. Professionals are not worried: they have already figured out ways around these measures. 

 She is a multi-millionaire.  She drinks, smokes and stares at TV.  She orders her husband around. She is bored and irritable.  She suggests adultery to me, but I always turn her down.  It would cost me too much. 

 The only Japanese woman who ever stole money from me works for the police.

 The customs official stared at my pirated copy of "The Politics of Heroin in South East Asia," making me quite uncomfortable.  "Do you have any porno?" he asked.  "Sorry to disappoint you," I answered, "but, I don't."   

Jumping off, L