Mr Lunatik twist and shout story
The lunatic alternately beseeched the gods and wrestled with his demons. He karate punched phantoms; challenging them with tai chi stances. He raised his arms and begged the sky. His cries alternated between those of a disgruntled tiger and an angered baboon. Ten paces forward. Stop. Do the business. Ten paces forward. Repeat until he was forced to wait at the crosswalk for the pedestrian light to turn green. He may be mad, but he's no lawbreaker.
Tired and stressed, I stopped for a cigarette. I noticed a homeless man staring at me. Unthinkingly, I asked him in English: "Do you want a cigarette?" "Yes please," he responded immediately. "How about a light?" "I have," was the response. Most Japanese couldn't respond this way. Homelessness stripped away linguistic incompetence.
It's been a busy new year for Tokyo police. Mix and match the meat bits. Reassembling human jigsaw puzzles. A disturbing trend of murder followed by chopping up the victim and disposing bits all over the city has suddenly become popular. Last week the police were working on three meat puzzles simultaneously. A housewife whacked her abusive husband on the head with a wine bottle and carried his dented head on the train to bury in someone's garden. Other bits of him were disposed of two other parts of the city.
The other murders were a standard issue debt repayment problem and an incestuous brother/sister tangle. He belted his sister hard, talked to her for an hour with blood streaming down the side of her head, and then choked her in the bath. He sliced off her breasts and cut out her genitals. After disposing of her body bits, he took her panties off with him to camp. He told his parents not to worry if they smelt something strange in his room, because it was a dead shark. She it seems was an aspiring actress, her last role involved portraying someone sexually satiated by her brother. She made the mistake of telling her brother he was a loser, and she was going places. She's gone now.
An Osaka man welcomed the new year by advertising for a hundred men to have sex with his wife. "Twist and shout. Shake it, shake it, shake it up baby now," as Paul McCartney urged us to do, oh so long ago.
Cheers, Mr Lunatik